Invisible Judges

I was at my son’s gymnastics competition the other day. And in between turns on the different events, I observed the people who were in the position to determine the athletes scores- the judges. They watch each athlete with such intensity, scrutinizing every move, ready to mark down any imperfection they may perceive in the boy’s routines. After all, they are JUDGES- they are there to JUDGE.

In this sport, I understand that judges are necessary. And even though it’s all subjective and we may not agree with the results, each athlete is held to the same set of standards.

But in the education I received in Spiritual Psychology, I learned about the pitfalls of being in a position of judgment. It sets one apart from another. Makes someone better and someone worse. And assumes a kind of arrogance that any given person knows what is best for all involved.

So in my daily life I’m mindful of where I’m holding judgments against myself and others. I practice a regular routine of Self-Forgiveness for these judgments. I try to live a life as free of judgment as I possibly can.

But lately I’ve become aware of a thought pattern, an idea that I’ve been holding and it involves invisible judges. It’s as if I’ve been living my life feeling that there is some life force out there watching my every move, deciding if what I’m doing is right or wrong; good or bad; or mostly what I hear is “Are you good enough?”

As far as I’m aware, this belief isn’t about God. I have a deep knowing that God does not judge.

But these judges have been around since I can remember. I have a clear visual of them as they create a perimeter around me. They represent my own limiting beliefs, created for who knows what reason. Their presence questions my value and purpose. They keep me living a small, fearful and limiting life.

At the same time I sense they carry some wisdom that I am open to hearing. And that there is much more to their presence than I’m aware of now or could cover in a single blog.

But for now, I just wanted to call attention to them. Acknowledge them out loud. Ask them to soften their voices and judgments so I can attune more clearly to my purpose.

Are you aware of invisible judges in your life? Are their voices louder at some times then others? How are they limiting you? How do they stop you from living a more purposeful, joyful life?

I encourage you, as I encourage myself, to be gentle with yourself. We are blessed to be on this journey of soulful exploration and trusting it is all unfolding perfectly for our Higher learning is crucial.

So next time I come eye to eye with one of these judges, I’m going to look at it and give it a big hug. I will thank it for offering me a gentle lesson and providing me with insight and wisdom. And I will watch it disintegrate as I step more fully into who I am.

In loving,

Sarah