It seems that no matter how my year has gone, I’m always a bit nostalgic as it comes to a close.
Maybe it’s because I’m reminded of how quickly time is passing as I witness the physical growth of my boys. Not to mention the way that they’re both maturing emotionally and intellectually.
Or maybe I just get sad when things end. Heading into the unknown of the year ahead, particularly after finishing a year that didn’t go so well, can be scary.
But maybe it’s just that transitions are hard. I’m happy in one place. Or the next. But the in between has notoriously been hard for me.
Whatever the reason, we all know that change is inevitable. And as I reflect on the past year, I can acknowledge a few things.
1. I am growing. And sometimes that is painful and challenging. Not in the “Ouch, I just cut my finger!” way, but in a much more subtle, subversive way. I’m aware of the underlying stirring I feel. An uneasiness that has me questioning the bigger picture of why I’m here on this earth. Another sign of time passing ? Possibly. My children are growing and although they still need me to cart them to their various activities, I’m sensing that time will be drawing to a close soon. So more questions lie ahead as to how and where I will best be able to serve.
2. This past year was tough. For a lot of us. Death snapped away my brother-in-law, just like that. The election. More financial uncertainty. I’m certain we can all create a long list of challenges from the year. But I’m proud of the way I dug deep and dealt with the pain, frustration and depression. I’m proud of my ingenuity and creativity with our finances. And I’m happy my continued commitment to my health and spiritual practices.
3. There’s plenty of room for improvement. I’m always searching for ways I can improve in my role as mom. I’m sometimes still quick to snap and anger. And I’d prefer to be less moody. But I also am aware at how hard I can be on myself in this role and I have to acknowledge I’m always doing the best I can.
4. I am good enough. The theme that continued to surface throughout the year…that somehow I’m not a good enough Mom, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Friend. That if I were further along in my Spiritual growth I wouldn’t be feeling or experiencing x, y, or z. These are all limiting beliefs that I’m placing on myself and they only serve to hold me back from being the best me I can be.
So on this last week of 2016 I will say goodbye to a few things that no longer serve me. And if I need to, I will have a good cry because, well, I cry for everything. But I enter the new year with a sense of hope, trust and surrender that I am being placed exactly where I’m meant to be. And that the best way I can serve is to open my heart, look around and offer myself to my best abilities.
What have you done this year that you’re proud of? Where do you see your opportunities to grow and improve? Can you forgive yourself for any perceived mistakes or errors? Can you forgive others? There are so many layers to these questions, but just pondering on them and allowing whatever it is that comes up for you to be ok is a great way to start. You have my full support!
My wish for you is that the year ahead be filled with unimaginable miracles— gifts of love and abundance and laughter.