Not knowing the answer...
I remember being in school as a child, when the teacher would ask a question, I was always one of the first to raise my hand with a suggested answer. I like having the answer. It provides me with a sense of security and comfort. By nature, I’m also a very organized person. My brain works in a methodical way.
So it isn’t surprising that Improvisation is not my thing. I like having things planned out. I like knowing what my day, week, month is going to look like. Routine is my friend. It provides me with a feeling of being grounded. It anchors me.
So when I find myself in a period of uncertainty, I feel challenged. And lately, I’ve been challenged a LOT.
It seems my anchors are being cut and I’m floating along. I feel lost and empty. And boy, I don’t like those feelings at all. It’s so hard for me to sit in the unknown and still trust and enjoy my life in the moment.
But as I was walking today, I heard a whisper. Why not try to just enjoy the moment, even if I don’t know what I’m doing? The uncertainty about next steps in my life may be there for a while. But there’s an opportunity for me in the unknown.
First, I can explore these feelings of discomfort. I can try to examine what’s happening in my body and try to listen for any clues and wisdom that may be available to me.
Also, I can trust that Divine timing is in play and that the answers will reveal themselves when it’s time. And maybe in that trust, I’ll find the answer. Maybe it’s simply that I’m doing everything I’m supposed to be doing right now. And there are all sorts of miracles waiting for me as I hold and move through the unknown.
So I’m going to spend the next two weeks focusing on surrender and trust. I’m going to gift myself with not having to make any decisions and allow myself to sit in the unknown, allowing the wisdom to present itself to me. After all, I married a man whose very nature is to improvise. He feels challenged making plans and disorganization is a common state for him. And the joy and balance he brings to my life and to our family is undeniable.
How do you deal with not having the answers? Do you allow yourself to become stagnant and stuck in the uncomfortable feelings? Do you avoid taking any action steps? And how can you move through it with greater ease? What’s the opportunity available to you with the unanswerable situations or circumstances?
For now, let’s make a pact to be gentle with ourselves. And let’s see where we end up!